well i'm awake. that's a good sign. i didn't go to bed til 6am this morning or so. i'm really moody lately and everything upsets me. easily hurt. thank you so much infertility. thank you for fucking with my whole life and my emotional state. thank you for ruining me and how i feel about myself. my self-esteem sucks. i'm not whole. i'm nothing. that's how i feel. the one thing as a woman that i am supposed to be able to do and do well, i cannot. so what is left? it seems like nothing is left. so thank you infertility for robbing me of the one dream i have ever wanted. :(

last night's injection, i ended up hitting a vein. i didn't know that except for it hurt really bad, til later after i took the band-aid off and saw the big blue mark and then the half dollar sized red mark to the left of that. it's weird how the rash develops. it doesn't develop where you think it would. and it makes you think that the medicine just traveled over into that one spot and lies there to burn you. *sigh* can't wait for tonight's! oh yeah!!!

got to get a shower and get my butt out the door shopping. i keep putting it off. we need groceries and i really seriously would like to have those new blinds put in my windows. so returning the other dumb ones and finding some new ones. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh SAVE ME SOMEONE PLEASE!!!!