just hanging out with bethany. i really need to go and get those blankies done and the homemade baby cards... i don't feel like doing anything anyway though. i did go out shopping today for a few hours by myself. it was so cold and snowing. i had to get christmas presents for my nieces and nephews. ugh. i hate doing that stuff. and i still didn't get anything for jazzy yet or for her birthday. so i have to go out again before i go home this weekend to pa.

as for everything else... i don't know how i feel. everything seems to be such a mess and so messed up and just. i don't know. i did the best i could. i did what i had to do and what i thought was right and now i'm feeling so guilty about it. but i would have felt guilty the other way too. so what's left? nothing i reckon.

happy birthday stephie girl. i love you sweetie. *hugs and kisses*