i don't think i can make it. i really don't. i have an appt friday morning for a follicle check and all i want to do is cancel this cycle. i can't take it anymore. the stress is too much. everything is just too too much.

my relationships are so destructive. i'm destructive. i am filled with such hatred for myself. i can't stop crying right now. i don't care about anything or anyone. i really do NOT care about myself at all. i've always always thought it's just a matter of time. and so it is. i don't even care who i hurt. whatever.

i wish i could just disappear. *poof*