rented "signs" tonight and watched that. it was ok. not as good as i had hoped it would be. i'm not really a mel gibson fan anyway. just fascinated by the crop circle stuff. was a very boring day today and i'm tired of faking it... tired of faking how i feel for the benefit of others.

i miss you so bad sometimes that it's killing me. i feel dead inside. why can't things be like they were before? why did everything have to go to shit like it did? i feel incredibly lonely much of the time. my mind always thinking of you and wondering what you are doing at that very moment. my heart aches and aches sometimes. i get so very angry at you. who am i even writing this for? i sure don't know... :( love is an addiction for which there is no cure. the most painful affliction of all.