i miss my angel right now. i had a very rough night/morning. i was in ALOT ALOT of pain. god. it was bad. he helped me to calm down and visualize. :) i think i think i think i need him to move in! he wouldn't kill me and put me out of my misery. i asked him to several times but nooooooooooo. he wouldn't do it! some best friend he is, huh? so instead i got to close my eyes and think and think and make the pain go away. surprisingly and i will rarely admit he's right and usually he always is (i did NOT just say that!) but it was working. all i know is i needed help with it. all the pills i was taking weren't working worth a ding dang. so anyway about 3 hours later i was off the phone and able to sleep some. i slept all day pretty much. so i feel better than this morning right now. dreading the dr. tomorrow tho. :( cycle day 3 ultrasounds always hurt so much! i keep telling myself... this is it. this is it. this is it. but will it be? i'm the worst when it comes to making any kind of firm decisions.

i just noticed i keep repeating things alot in this post. what's wrong with me? *lol*